A New Beginning!

How many times have we told ourselves the following..."This is a new beginning"? Quite a few times I guess. Well, me too. And today I find myself saying it yet again.
Indeed, today is a new beginning in my life. "Why?", you ask.....well. you don't want to know what my life has been like the last few days. Personal hygeine, academic quality, relationships, everything that concerns a 21 year old like me has suffered under a curse.......or is it a blessing?
Let us not dwell too much time on what has gone by. Instead, let us concentrate on what is going to come. No more afternoon mornings. Things of the past. Awake by 10, at work by half 10. Prioritise work, no more missing lectures. Meals at regular intervals. Sticking to the age old code which I have forgotten in recent times. In case you are wondering what code I am talking about, you should take a look at Bertie Wooster's code in PG Wodehouse books. Take a look at the brighter side of life and forget the past and all bad incidents.
I know I am not very fair in my blog. I tell you half the story but keep the really juicy details to myself. For now you are wondering, "What are the bad things that have happened?" My answer is that I just don't trust you enough to let you know yet. You need to give me some time. You know I am inexperienced at blogging.
Anyways, the thing is I intend to come back home in March for a couple of weeks and I am afraid my work is going to suffer quite hard. So, I intend to get as much of it done as soon as possible. I can't really find much to put here now, so will take leave quickly. The next post should be a bit more interesting.

A Nice Picture

I took this photograph during one late night study session. Popping out for a smoke, the moon seemed so powerful, so eloquent. It was up there, in all its glory, looking down upon us poor mortal souls with its pitiful radiance.
The photo actually was a mistake. I intended it to be without flash and wanted to capture the moon through the branches. I forgot to turn the flash off and this was the result. As usual, I will draw comparisons between the photo and our lives.
If you carefully look at the nude and bare branches of the tree in winter, it shows us what we are in the core, in spite of what colours and layers we put on ourselves. Each and every one of us can bear some sort of resemblance to these branches. From my perspective, the main branch is my life and all around lies darkness and other smaller twigs. The smaller twigs are the people around me. The thorns show the bad experiences I have had, in all aspects of life.....romance, relational, professional....all the bitter memories. The split in the main branch shows the choice I had to make in life about coming to the UK or staying back in India. As you can see, the lower branch has lots of associated twigs with it, many associations, many more branches in its wake and lots of more important choices to make. It definitely looks like the more interesting option to have chosen.
The branch above it is the one that I have actually chosen. It is bare, aloof and devoid of any associations. It doesn't have the charm and grace that the lower branch has. But what it does have is determination and grit to keep on moving higher and higher. It is nice the way the boundaries of the photo are because it doesn't show where the branch ends up. Who knows, maybe it just ends abruptly? Or maybe it continues on to higher places and achieves greater things. Next to this branch, you see a pretty thick branch which also happens to have a certain influence in the way my life (the branch) shapes up. This branch reflects the life of a certain individual I shall only refer to as Miss S.
Our lives were far apart but we were destined to meet just as the branches do at a point and then they continue along together, albeit with a distance between them. The distance could reflect the physical distance between us. But if you notice, both the branches are heading in the same direction, almost with the same destination in mind showing the emotional closeness that we share.
This is how I view the photo and draw parallels between it and my life. I am sure if you look at it, you can draw your own interpretations. Your turn to have a go....

The Best Exam of My Life !

Today, I gave the best exam of my life. A mid-semester test it was on Optical Communication Systems counting 20% towards the semester marks. I put in a lot of hard work towards my preparation. That is around, 4 hours. I felt semi-confident, unmotivated and absolutely shattered. I dragged my feet to the lecture theatre, found a place next to a psycho exchange student and realised ...."I didn't get my calculator". Unlike lesser beings who might have panicked, I took it upon my stride. Instead of kicking myself, I forgave myself for making the mistake for the first time in my life. As I pondered over the consequesnces, I was handed the question sheet and the answer script.
It was absolutely brilliant. 90% of it was sums. I was thrilled. Moreover, they were multiple choice questions, which meant I would get no marks for working. But the 'Never Give In' spirit kicked in again.
I proceeded to work on the brain-rattlers, and went though them......funnily I knew each and every answer, I just didn't have the tool to get to them. I tried borrowing the calculator from Mr. Unpronouncable-French Name, who curtly declined. So, there i was, sitting like a fool with people calculating everything all around me while I tried a variety of time-killing methods (chewing my nails, scratching my back with the pencil, throwing pens around and picking them up). The invigilator (also happens to be my Project Supervisor), notices something wrong and asks me what it is. I told him what it was. He coaxed Mr. Unpronouncable-French Name to share the calculator with me.
Anyways, I don't honestly think I will pass. But there are a lot of parallels to draw from this. You see around yourself, people always 'pretending' to be busy. Beiing 'busy' seems to be a type of fashion nowadays. As if being idle was a crime or something. Come on, I know loads of people whom I never saw working but who accomplished far more in life than you or me will ever do. People walk up to me and tell me, Ushi, it is time you started studying. I know that too, thank you. But what I am missing is the tool.....the tool which can get me to work and make my work successful.

My introduction to Blogging!

Well, this happens to be my seventh attempt at blogging. For some reason or another, I could never continue a blog after my second post. This time, I am determined to pursue this hobby because like everyone else, things happen in my life that need to be shared.
First, I expect the reader to ask for some clarifications regarding the name of the blog and the address. Most people come up with fancy names for their blogs but noone quite understands what they are for and why those words or phrases find their way .....to wherever they have found their way. 'The Last Samurai' happens to be one of my favourites. Although, I am one of those 'pretenders' who like to hate Hollywood and Bollywood alike, I differ on occasions when I really find a movie to appreciate. It was a tale of honour, courage, bravery and most importantly, making the choice between right and wrong. We find ourselves in those situations ever so often in our lives, but maybe, we just don't realise it. I find amazing similarities (some might say imaginative) between the movie and my own life. Hence, the name 'The Last Samurai' because after all, this is my blog and it is supposed to be based on my experiences and life and about what I have to say.

Now you want to know why it is called 'Blessed with the Curse', and the answer is something I myself don't really know. Or maybe I do but I can't express it with words. Suffice to say that there are lots of things which I thought were curses, but actually they are blessings because without my knowledge, they have made me a much better and stronger person. Unfortunately, we crib and cry when things happen to us and unfortunately, it is only in retrospect that we see how it has benefited us. This is a paradoxical situation. Because, if you didn't feel miserable at that time, then the whole point of the exercise would have been futile. There is also a link between this and 'The Last Samurai' which I think is better if I explain in a later post. In case, I forget (which is distinct possibility), please do remind me.
Now you might ask me...'Dude, who the fuck are you?' I happen to be one of the old school. Pun intended for all my Calcutta Boys' School mates. I was a happy go lucky fellas till I was 18 and then circumstances forced me to change. My Dad, getting fed up with my antics, threw me not only out of the house but actually, right out of the country. Thus, I suddenly found myself in an alien country with alien people, far away from the people I had spent 13 years of my life growing up with. I had to change. Today, I have a split personality. One that I reserve for India and a few special friends in Leeds and the other one is for the Western world. My Dad expected me to get myself a job. I think I exceeded his expectations. So, here I stand proudly telling the world that I am employed by Goldman Sachs (for those unaware, it is a premium investment bank....shame on you!) and that I will be heading over to New York in a few months. I have a good degree and good money. I beam as I answer the questions but deep down.....is it what I actually wanted to do? The answer never comes to me. But what I do know is that I will live one life and I missed out on some of the best times of my life which I could have spent in dear old Calcutta, attending Jadavpur University or Presidency College. But then maybe, Goldman Sachs wouldn't have happened. Which one is more important? Maybe you could help me to find the answer.
Right, now we move on with the real stuff. Enough of introductions.